Nokia. Say what you like about their phones and software (and indeed we do), plenty of people like them and they can’t all be wrong… (can they?)
Their customer service, however, often leaves a lot to be desired – we’ve covered it before at length. So here for your guffawing pleasure is their response to Richard Mason who wrote to ask if they wouldn’t mind awfully moving a scroll bar…
It’s not as if I had asked Nokia about their theory on existentialism, I was simply asking them if it was at all possible, somewhere down the line, if they could move the scrollbar on my Nokia 5800 to the left hand side. That’s all.
The response is genius… no wait… the other thing… awful:
Dear Richard, Thankyou for contacting Nokia Care. We appreciate you choosing Nokia as your preferred device. We acknowledge your feedback. We understand the unpleasant Impact to our customers for all issues they have experienced that we currently improving on. Any circumstances such as this has been carefully investigated and we understand this cause you inconvenience as it to us. Nevertheless, all feedbacks like these Nokia accepted this as a big challenge in order for us to be more competitive, improved and to be more successful from our errors. We would like to thank you for bringing this up to our attention. All complaints from our customers like you are considered as you value our product that requires an immediate attention. For future reference, please feel free to check our website. Kindly refer to the link below: http://www.nokia.co.uk/home You may also call our Customer Care Hotline at 0845-045-5555, Mon-Fri 9am-7pm (except bank and public holidays) Please don't hesitate to contact us again if you have any further questions. Yours faithfully, Johnson N Nokia Service Professional UK & Ireland Team Nokia Care
Source: Bitterwallet
Image Credit: striatic, Flickr
{ 35 comments }
Just, wow.
Just, wow.
I hate when companies use custom built email responses. It’s like talking to a mirror. Same with Amazon…
The good news here is that “The Really Mobile Project Business Consultancy Dept (Handset division)” is willing to put forward a proposal to automate Nokia’s customer service e-mails. Our proposal consists of several half-arsed BASH scripts and an old version of Sendmail from 1997 but will yield a whopping 80% increase in readability and results have consistently scored above 90% on the “doesn’t sound like it was written by a 419 scammer” index.
All for the low price of only 10 eurocents per handset sold by Nokia (backdated to 2001, fee due monthly, each license fee allows the use of the automated e-mail service with UNLIMITED***** customers, fair usage of 0.5 customer per license applies, this service is not compatible with Maemo powered handsets)
I just can’t imagine how anyone could let that be sent, whether pre-written or otherwise… Those are not the words of a competent English-speaker.
SOLD!
Simples?
They are as English speakers as those famous BT support team
Kidding aside, I happened to know people who had this job, of creating automated responses and the software that matched the answer to whatever you write, and I can tell you that they have no clue about business, customers or PR. They are low-payed (people who wrote those) ignorants (people who implement those answers).
Great combo, heh?
The thought process for the “Advisor”:
1) Humm which template should I use…Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…perfect.
2) OK now i’ll just stick the customers name at the top and my name at the bottom to give it a “personal” touch!
3) Send e-mail (that was the easiest part yet…no need to even think)
4) Ow no…I accidentally deleted the e-mail the customer sent…what a shame
5) This is an easy job!!!…who’s next?
Epic.
I have some Nokia-related news soon… so I might be able to test that theory… Watch this space.
you have got me intrigued!
Just, wow.
Just, wow.
I hate when companies use custom built email responses. It's like talking to a mirror. Same with Amazon…
I just can't imagine how anyone could let that be sent, whether pre-written or otherwise… Those are not the words of a competent English-speaker.
The good news here is that “The Really Mobile Project Business Consultancy Dept (Handset division)” is willing to put forward a proposal to automate Nokia's customer service e-mails. Our proposal consists of several half-arsed BASH scripts and an old version of Sendmail from 1997 but will yield a whopping 80% increase in readability and results have consistently scored above 90% on the “doesn't sound like it was written by a 419 scammer” index.
All for the low price of only 10 eurocents per handset sold by Nokia (backdated to 2001, fee due monthly, each license fee allows the use of the automated e-mail service with UNLIMITED***** customers, fair usage of 0.5 customer per license applies, this service is not compatible with Maemo powered handsets)
SOLD!
SOLD!
Simples?
They are as English speakers as those famous BT support team
Kidding aside, I happened to know people who had this job, of creating automated responses and the software that matched the answer to whatever you write, and I can tell you that they have no clue about business, customers or PR. They are low-payed (people who wrote those) ignorants (people who implement those answers).
Great combo, heh?
The thought process for the “Advisor”:
1) Humm which template should I use…Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…perfect.
2) OK now i'll just stick the customers name at the top and my name at the bottom to give it a “personal” touch!
3) Send e-mail (that was the easiest part yet…no need to even think)
4) Ow no…I accidentally deleted the e-mail the customer sent…what a shame
5) This is an easy job!!!…who's next?
Epic.
I have some Nokia-related news soon… so I might be able to test that theory… Watch this space.
you have got me intrigued!
I once suggested an improvement to the Nokia Music Store and they suggested I re-flash my handset.
Do you have the e-mail chain? I’d love to collect these together…
I once suggested an improvement to the Nokia Music Store and they suggested I re-flash my handset.
Do you have the e-mail chain? I'd love to collect these together…
Surprised nobody has brought up the truly continual epic fail of Nokia Care: Getting hardware faults repaired or bricked handsets replaced–especially if you bought the handset in one country and try and get it repaired in another.
Surprised nobody has brought up the truly continual epic fail of Nokia Care: Getting hardware faults repaired or bricked handsets replaced–especially if you bought the handset in one country and try and get it repaired in another.
Unbelievable.
Except wait, no, that’s exactly what I’ve come to expect from Nokia so actually it’s all too believable.
Contrast that with my experience with Apple’s customer service: http://theprodigalguide.com/2009/08/22/prodigal-customer-service-from-apple/
Unbelievable.
Except wait, no, that's exactly what I've come to expect from Nokia so actually it's all too believable.
Contrast that with my experience with Apple's customer service: http://theprodigalguide.com/2009/08/22/prodigal...
Simple solution really – don’t emailing low-paid, unskilled customer support teams about changes you want made in an OS. Go straight to the developers of the software.
Now, I agree that these guys should be able to field this kind of question. I’m just saying that it’s not your only channel.
Simple solution really – don't emailing low-paid, unskilled customer support teams about changes you want made in an OS. Go straight to the developers of the software.
Now, I agree that these guys should be able to field this kind of question. I'm just saying that it's not your only channel.
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